52 weeks of grateful: nurture

The number one reason that I love my recent 'life change' is that I get to spend more time with my crazy little Tsunamis.

I am not suggesting for a minute that they were in any way neglected whilst I was working hard in the grey world. Not at all. I believe that the more loving, sharing close relationships our children can form in their young lives, the better. Spending time with grown-ups other than family builds their independence and opens up their world.

But I'm very glad it's more me doing the world-opening these days.

It's not all sunshine and roses, quite the opposite actually. Like every mum who has ever mummed (and that is to say all mumming mums), the relentlessness of the school pick up and drop off routine coupled with the ceaseless whinge factor is enough to make me want to run back to greyland. Not quite.

But, this week I'm grateful for...

245. The everyday - being the constant in my children's Everyday is important and satisfying.

246. Nurturing - taking the time to get to know them better and helping them explore the people they are and the people they want to be. I talk more about this over at Village Voices this week.

247. Day's end - going completely off on a tangent, but after a loooong day both taking care of the children aaaaand putting in a day's work, I have never looked forward to Day's End quite so much. (Except maybe when Maxi was a newborn, but then Day's End never came... not for months.)

What's your favourite moment from this week?

Join us over at Village Voices and link up your own gratefuls.
Link opens 11am Sydney time each Friday.

It's a beautiful way to be.

[Image by Charles Gullung]

Things they didn't tell you about parenting

You might be seeing a little bit about a certain book here and there in the blogisphere. It happens when 32 bloggers are brought together into a sensational ebook for a sensational cause. All proceeds from the sale of this book go to Project 18, a charity established by Cate Bolt, an amazing Australian mum and humanitarian, to help 12 orphaned Indonesian girls (and many others) get an education and the chance of a confident, hopeful life.

Cate shows us all that we can make a difference if we really, really want to. If we trust in the kindness of others and we are prepared to work very hard indeed. It is an honour to contribute to this book and in a very small way contribute to Cate's work. I thank my sister Al  for including me, but mostly for coming up with this brilliant idea and caring enough to actually bring it to life as an ebook.

The book itself is absolutely wonderful. Every emotion you can think of is expressed somewhere in its pages and it is the most honest and heartfelt book about being a parent that I have ever read. My 'Smack!' post is in there... yes, my cranky pants method of parenting has gone global. Mixed emotions about that one, I can tell you!

Please visit the Things they didn't tell you about parenting website and buy this lovely little missive for only $4.95. Yep, just under a fiver. It's a true delight and I promise it will make you feel better about pretty much all of your parenting fails!

What do you wish you'd been told about parenting?

Add the link to the post on your blog that you would submit to this book!

♥

Oh and I had a wonderful time last night. I don't know what I was worried about... but then, that's generally the case, isn't it? Why we worry about the things we worry about is just another a mystery to worry about!

[Image by Emma Hardy via Momfilter]

Old friends and the harshest critic

Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than visiting with a bunch of old friends. I'd rather deliver a speech to a room full of 1000 tomorrow than rock up to dinner with a cast of 10 tonight, eight years since I've seen many of them.

It's not that I don't like them. Indeed, I like them very much.

It's just the weight thing. And the hair thing. And the wrinkles and weight thing.

Years ago I was your gal-about-town in full make-up and pretty hair every single day. These days I rarely worry about my appearance - I dress for speed, not style. The hair is mostly pulled back in my 'signature' (ha!) pony tail and the make up is non-existent. I don't know what people think of me on a day to day basis anymore. Most of the time I'm a moving target anyway, so if people are commenting, I'm gone before I can overhear.

I think the thing about dinner with old friends is my own sense of inadequacy. I feel happier now that I don't go to all that endless trouble all the time, but I still feel a little bit like I've "let myself go" and that hurts. The fact that my dear old friends will feel obligated to offer some kind of compliment about how I look hurts even more. "Oh, you look great," they will say. "Your hair is so gorgeous" they will gush. And I know that compared to ten years ago, this is simply not true.

I just can't handle a false compliment, no matter how well-intended it is. It's hearing "You've lost weight!" every single time I go out. No, actually, I haven't. But because I'm fat, that's an easy compliment to butter me up with. I get it. You're fat ergo you must be trying to lose weight so an affirmation will be appreciated. Instead, every time someone says that to me it reminds me that I need to lose weight but I haven't.

I will be doing it myself, of course. A "love your dress!" will escape, followed by a "you look so great!". We can't help ourselves, it's part of being friendly. We say nice things to others and we really mean it at the time, but the weight of their own expectations will cloud the way they hear us.

"Just accept the compliment with thanks," my mother said to me years ago. I want to, but I just don't believe it. It's awfully hard being a realist sometimes... and isolating... and somewhat anti-social! I know I judge myself far harsher than anyone would ever dream of doing. Being kinder to myself might help me accept compliments with much more grace and courtesy than I currently do

So tonight, I am uncomfortable and dragging my feet a little. But once we're past that awkward compliment stage, I will be so lost in my old friends' company that I will forget all about criticising myself all over again. And that's true friendship, at the end of the day.

Can you take a compliment?

Do you judge yourself harshly now compared to 'then'?

[Image by Natalie Haywood]

Loving: Mr Printables

Sometimes I find a sight that makes my heart skip a beat.

Sometimes it's a site.

Do yourself a huge favour and check out Mr Printables. I cannot get enough. That's their "Say hello to the Cone Girls" up there. Adorbs, right?

And if you think this post is a little bit short... it is! Now that I'm (cough) a writer for other people... I find less time to be a writer for me. Nothing amazeballs, so don't get too excited. But exciting for me. I actually am beyond proud of myself for managing to segue out of grey old corporate life and into vibrant writing /editing life so smoothly. "I lucky" (a little quote from my nephew there, who used to grab hold of his three dummies at night and prop them up alongside himself and say "I lucky"... just gorgeous. We use the expression often).

So that's me.

And that's Mr Printables.

Do you ever actually print any of the free printables online? 

(I confess, not often... but still I pin and pin.)

The reality of imaginary TV friends

I can't stop the feeling that I know many of the people on reality TV. This is quite different from my other feeling that movies stars would want to be my best friend if they met me. Rather, every year when the new batch of dancing, singing masterenovators is announced, I think, "I'm sure I know that guy from somewhere". There is usually one per show, sometimes two. On The Renovators, it was Jason. That big lug, I knew him from somewhere.

In the case of The Voice I'm quite certain I was besties at one time or another with at least 5 of them. Darren, Glen, Glenn, Diana and Matt. They are not even my favourite contestant (hello Karise), but they are all so familiar to me in that 'can't quite put my finger on it' kind of way... I just know them.

I've never met any of these people before in my life, of course. It's just that when they beam into my living room and we learn so much about them, they spark memories of other people from distant times and take their place. Something about them is comforting. That guy reminds me of that other guy, so that guy becomes the guy that I know.

I defy anyone to suggest that they didn't know Marion or Julie from somewhere the minute they stepped onto the Masterchef screen. They are both just that 'every woman' kind of gal who everyone knows in some form or another. It's like they were born to be the world's best friend.

This is why when a season draws to a close (or when my besties get eliminated), I get a little bit sad. It's like farewelling a friend at the airport gate, knowing you'll probably never see them again. I miss them. Where do these cheeky reality TV friends go after the show? Back to real reality, that's where.

A real reality that sadly doesn't include being friends with me.

Do you make friends with reality TV peoples?

[Image via weheartit, please let me know if it is yours.]

Giveaway winner and some clutter busting tips

Comment number 33 was the lucky number to win The Crafty Kid giveaway.

Come on down, Tas from Little Boozle!

Have a lovely Saturday evening, everyone. I'm making a roast for dinner and eating that roast is what I'm doing tonight.

Today I found some brilliant ways to beat that horrible Clutter Monster to the curb. I posted my top 16 tips over on Village Voices in my new segment "Collected". "Collected" is kind of a revamped "Things I learned this week" and I am in love!

What's your number one way to beat clutter?

What are you having for dinner tonight?

52 weeks of grateful: Why

I've been trying to clarify why I do the grateful thing. Why am I grateful? Once upon a time over 100 bloggers would link up on the Grateful linky each week and numbers have dwindled and dwindled. I wondered why that was and I got myself all tangled up about it and then wrote a rather heartfelt post about it what grateful means on Kidspot this week. It helped me get it out.

And after that I felt much better.

Living gratefully wakes me up and reminds me that I choose to be happy. It makes me notice things I might otherwise take for granted. Being a part of the Grateful linky each week grounds me and opens my heart.

So, this week I'm grateful for...

242. Reminders - sometimes I forget what I started out to do. I lose my way a little bit. It's nice to be reminded.

243. Why - asking it, wondering it, answering it, pondering it. Why is a very good word indeed.

244. Love notes - Every day since Mother's Day Cappers has made me a little note telling me how much she loves me. She writes them for her dad as well, but she still gets her Ds and Bs mixed up so the cards say "I love you mum and bab". Bab loves them hugely.

What's your favourite moment from this week?

Join us over at Kidspot and link up your own gratefuls.
Link opens 11am Sydney time each Friday.

It's a beautiful way to be.

[Image found on weheartit. Please let me know if it is yours]