It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm on the tools.
School Pick-up.
Pram wheels whizzing in front, six kids trailing behind; a slow caravan of feet-dragging, backpack-heaving, high-spirited blue. And a Euphonium.
Keep up Slowest Boy in the World, don't make me come back there.
No we can't play in the playground, Flygirl's got to get to art class.
Hold onto the pram, Cappers, we're crossing in a minute. Yes, you do need to hold onto the pram. No, you're not old enough to cross by yourself even if I watch you very carefully and you look right and left and left again. And, by the way, it's left then right then left again - that's why you can't cross the road by yourself.
No you can't come out of the pram, Badoo. You wanted the pram, you got the pram, I hate the pram, I'm not pushing an empty pram. And a Euphonium.
Okay, I'll carry your heavy bag, Sambochips. Load it on top of the pram. Really, Cappers? I have to carry yours too? And Max - okay, just put all the bags onto the pram and I'll put these two on my back and, okay, Badoo, you can get out of the pram now. Please, Badoo, you wanted to get out and now I need you to... oh, forget it. Maxi, just balance yours on top of the Euphonium. Just call me 'pack horse', no problems.
Well, honey, a pack horse is usually a donkey or mule or, oh, just forget it. Forget I said anything.
Maxi, leave the birds alone, we're about to cross.
Slowest Boy in the World, leave the birds alone, we're about to cross.
No, really, Cappers, don't worry about what a mule is. Really. Don't. Worry.
We cross. Six kids, six backpacks, a pram, a sagging mumma. And a Euphonium.
Okay, everyone into the car. Seat belts on. There you go, Badoo. Forgodsakes, bend, Badoo, BEND. Yes, you have to wear a seat belt. Yes, you have to wear a seat belt. Yes, you have to wear a seat belt. Just put the seat belt on, Badoo.
Everyone else got their seat belts on? Seat belts? Put your seat belts on. Seat belts! Cappers? Flygirl? Sambochips? Maxi? Slowest Boy in the World? Oh come on, SBITW. Maxi, help the kid out would ya?
I'll explain what a mule is later, Cappers. Don't worry about it right now. Just forget about it. You can, you really, really can.
Right. Six bags into the boot. Pram into the boot. And a Euphonium.
FuckmedeadthisbloodyEuphoniumhowthehelldoIgetthisintothecar. @#%$^ beep &$%* ^&%$$# beep beep #$%!$@!
Right.
Okay.
We're in. I can drive with half a Euphonium on my lap, no problem. What do you mean you're hungry and thirsty? You're not the ones who've just lugged six kids, a pram, six backpacks and a freakin' Euphonium up the goddamn hill. Here, share this mouthful of water amongst yourselves and here's six crumbs left over from this morning's toast. Enjoy.
And, seriously, Flygirl. Seriously. What in god's name is wrong with the flute?
What's 'pick-up' like for you?
Do you love it as much as I do?
Do you hang around the gate and chat to the other mums?
Do you get there early or are you always running late?
48 comments (thank you!):
suddenly I have the urge to home school....
I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who'll look up euphonium in the dictionary.
What ever happened to the recorder?
Hee hee. Love it.
Funny & scary all at the same time - because of the truth!!
This is why I don't understand why parents don't like school holidays!
Well done!
Your reward is getting to do it all again tomorrow.
Maybe minus the euphonium.
:-)
no @rhythmmethod, *not* the only one - just googled it! And this is why I banned the cello after two years (snowbear now takes singing lessons!!)
Oh Maxabella - how I feel your pain!!
xxxCate
for fox sake!
x
You need to get thee a Coles garden wagon. I rocked up to prep today with such a wagon loaded with a 2 year old, snacks, drinks, buckets, saws and miscellaneous garden tools. We hung out and gardened while the kids dragged each other around in the wagon, scoffed all the snacks and made mud. Wagon reloaded with all the above plus schoolbag and very muddy 2 yo. Would even be able to fit a Euphonium. Our 5 yo wants to play the BASSOON. Lucky we have a Coles garden wagon. Loved your post, made me snort while LOL. Mel:)
Oh haaaa! He he! Lol, I cried with laughter reading this. It is soooo true, I hear ya! We have kindy run no school yet and no euphonium, but heaps of bags and a two year old who always does a poo nappy as we r getting into the car and she insists on squeezing her little chubby feet into her one size too small ballet shoes when I am in a hurry to get my son to kindy! (she puts her shoes on the wrong feet and that takes 10 minutes, then she realizes and has to take them off and try again at least three times before we can leave, and nobody is allowed to help no matter how late we are!) he he x
Lol, I just googled Euphonium too!
This is why I am already loving school holidays and I only have one in kindy (but two others to drag to drop off and pick up)
French horn. Painful on the shins. Mum would make me practice in the backyard. I'm going to let my kids play whatever they want - at great personal sacrifice!
Pick up is always a circus with my three school-aged and one kinder kid. Thursdays are a regular nightmare, with two extra girlies to feed, coax into ballet gear and cram back into the car to get them to their lesson by 4:15 and there's never any parking. Arghhhh! Topped with swimming lessons that start at 6 and end at 8:30 and the worst part is no dinner time glass of red cos I'm driving all freaking night!
Deep breath. Sorry about that - just thinking about tomorrow night makes me panicky.
yep googled Euphonium too :)
I couldnt help but laugh out loud when i read this i could visualize you every step of the way.
Luckily i am a few years off - I am not looking forward to school pick ups!
ok, another Google Detective right here!
I did get a giggle out of this, and even though we do not have any school goers yet, we had an afternoon quite similar. A double pram, loaded up with an abandoned scooter, piles of leaves that needed to be collected for godknowswhat and the questions, oh the questions. "Why don't people eat worms?" was on repeat for whatever reason.
But then again, we did not have a Euphonium.
Gill xo
Oh the pain.
I feel for you.
School and kindy for us are 15 minute drive apart - so I grad the elder two across the road so we can high tail it up to kindy.
I then usually dissolve into the arms of the kindy teacher...
Term four sees ALL the little Mulvanys in the same school - in the same block of classrooms no less - I cannot wait!
xx
Brilliant. Absolutely. brilliant.
Mama's were just made to be pack horses, so it would seem. I just think you're a saint for taking on 3 extra kids in your busy day.
Classic! I've already been through the 'little ones' years, where you have to be there, waiting for their day to end. Then I moved to the 'drop off/pick up zone' years, and they're quite wonderful. In 2013 the littlest ones start school so the dance of the packhorse starts again. I'll be thinking of you (you'll probably be a 'zone' mum by then!)
God I fricking hate the bloody Euphonium. Why allow a child to play an instrument that weighs more than they do?
I hate pick up from school, I don't so much mind the drop off. But we always seem to get behind the child and parent who have a long heartfelt goodbye every single morning wherein they hold up the entire line for an additional twenty minutes.
Pick up from kindergarten is as hard work as school I imagine - love the transportation you chose :O) have a great day
A xx
Well the school is a five minute walk so I don't really have any excuses for being late....but I often am. I love a good gossip at the schoolgate and also enjoy having a good bitch at the various fashions the mums wear. I usually look like a wrung out dishcloth so I can't really talk though!
OMG! sounds like you have your work cut out for you. I am a nanny and I stay clear of the other moms they scare me. I just get home as fast as possible. I am so excited I found your blog today! I can't wait to go back and read your older post! I would be delighted if you would stop by my blog and tell me what you think! I am also having a giveaway you might like.
Thank you NAt
i am exhausted after reading that !! currently only got one kinder drop and pick up at our house :)
Just popped over to say thx for following and ended up reading last 10 post..gee, I get lost in blog world fast..Your kids are so cute..I only have 4 at home now, but boy do I remember the 8.. Life is much quieter now and I get a lot more craft done that I want to do and not just kids messing with glue and sissors.cheers babe.
Reading this I am so pleased I don't do it anymore. Up until just now I'd managed to block the pain of owning a Tarago.
Our household conversations are more to do with being 22 and not having moved from the couch for two days.
Might I add at 37, I feel I can still hold a pillow over their head and hold my own in a struggle.
What am I saying, they're too lazy to struggle. My grandma's 90 and she could hold a pillow over their head.
I've always liked the euphonium ... from a distance.
Ahh, the horrors of my school years! hahaha
xoxo
lila
That's the reason my parents made me learn the clarinet. Unfortunately I wanted to learn the cello. Still do.
I'm just glad that our primary school is just around the corner. No car trip. Instead, I'm thinking shopping trolley, stolen from Franklins, for the school run when it eventually comes around.
K x
You cracked me up with your memory provoking account of school pickups! No wonder us mums are always strung out by the time we get them home and find the afternoon tea..then the school expects us to help with homework, make them dinner, bath them, read stories and with what energy I ask you????
I know that I shouldn't be laughing right now. (I should be googling "Euphonium") No, I don't talk to the other mums. I curse them and consider running them down as they stand and talk on the side walk paths and in the entrances. And I am always late. The only good thing is that the newly-4 year old has decided a couple of days a week she is old enough to walk. So it is slower but pram-free. And I am a cow- kids carry their own bags. What do I look like? A pack mule? Where is your hat? Where's your jumper? Your lunch box? Your...Nope, not much school-pick up love here either now that I think about it.
My girls' schools are 30mins drive apart (madness I know). I LOVE Drive Thru. Both girls are waiting at the curb and jump in then we zoom off. In earlier primary school, I often chose to eat afternoon tea at the school playground if we didn't have after school commitments. They ate and ran off some steam before heading home. Off to see what a euphonium is!
I do have a classic photo of my number 2 when she was in Grade one with her backpack, ballet bag, music bag and violin case outweighing her.
I'm in awe of you...how to you manage to keep your sanity after all of that??
whoa baby! i think every mother at one time feels like you do! and not even with extra kids....sometimes with my own two i sound like a repetitive lunatic! i love your humour though!
much love
xx
Lol! Good one!
I am forever complaining about the taxiing, and I've got one teen and one toddler!
And the the school changes plans, and we have to suck it up, or come back later... ;-)
Hilarious! I can laugh now as my kids get picked up by a bus outside our door. However it does bring back horror memories doing the preschool drop and pickup with 3 kids - a 3 year old, 1 year old and new born...needed therapy after that.
Thank God we are walking distance to the school. That is all.
We are living the same life ... you have basically just recalled my day. School pick up is a pain in the butt!!
I'm so sorry, but I had such a good laugh. I do understand your pain! School pick ups and drop offs are ZERO fun.
I love this post, it is so funny, and so true of many (most?) of us mums. You really cracked me up!
There's really such a thing as a euphonium? I thought that was something made up in "Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium"!
OMG! I just shuddered in horror at the memories. I would often have one in the pram, one standing on the back of it, and another sitting on my shoulders. And the bags. In Queensland. In summer. Thank god those days are gone!!!
I here you, Honey! I have to lug a euphonium, trombone, cello and violin with five kids a pram and five schoolbags often containing rocks, branches and other compost. One day I didn't shut the back of the car properly and the whole lot tumbled out as i shot up the hill. (The kids were strapped in luckily.) Childbirth was designed to use all our dignity so there is no shame scrabbling on the tarmac to pick up all the brass and wood stuff, whilst waving merrily to friends who swerve around the obstacle that is US!
I hear you sister!! I have to lug a euphonium, trombone, cello and violin with the five kids, pram and schoolbags full of compost. Once the back of the car spilled open and everything rolled onto the road as I shop up the hill. Luckily the kids were strapped in. I'm sure we are relieved of all our dignity during childbirth so there is no shame in such things as scrabbling on the tarmac for brass and wood stuff whilst waving merrily to friends who swerve around the obstacle that is us!
I hear you sister! We have a euphonium, trombone and cello followed by a violin this year because I got a little cross when they tried to give us another cello. Fit that in with the pram and five kids. Once the whole lot tumbled out onto the road as I accelerated up the hill. The kids were strapped in luckily. I believe I was put through the indignity of childbirth so that later I would have no shame when I scrabbled on the tarmac for bruised brass and wood and other mums swerved around us at pick up time.
Teehee. I feel like I'm there. The euphonium? Really? Wow.
I was pushing the pram home in the rain this arvo...the four wheel pram not the three wheeler because Id left that out in the rain...so I was juggling the umbrella against my neck and shoulder...two bags on my back...small person throwing toys out the side of the pram..the other two walking in front of the wheels all the way home...I wanted to run away and never come back
And THAT is exactly why I love The Weekend Rewind. I missed this post the first time around.
Bahahaha! (laughing with you, not at you) ;-)
Reading this for the first time, thanks to Rewind. What a funny post, Maxabella. It is like a scene from a family movie ;-)
At least it wasn't raining! I just wish it weren't true Bron. Thanks for Rewinding. I needed a laugh x
Post a Comment
Yay! You're letting me know you're there. In reality I'm HOPELESS at replying, but in my head I am very very good. Happy day to you! x