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27.3.12

Awakening the 'I Wish' Beast


I know, I know, I KNOW that I'm supposed to be living my own life and not worrying about what everyone else it up to. As my mum always told us, "you do your thing and let them do their thing." In an ideal world, in an ideal me, I would be doing all the things that make me content and I wouldn't even have a clue what everyone else's 'thing' was. I wouldn't have a clue.

I don't know if it's this blogging business or if it's just plain life business, but lately I'm not doing that. Lately, I just can't stop comparing myself to others. I just can't.

My life is a good one - an unbelievably good one - and I'm happy as a kid planting sunflowers with it. I'm happy, I think I do okay.

But then...

That girl's got so many friends.
That girl's so smart and funny.
She's making her own skirts.
She's growing her own minestrone.
That one owns a holiday house.
That one feeds her kids quinoa.

Many etceteras later...

That one, this one, she and her. I can't stop looking and it's making me think 'I should be doing that too'. Like all the girls who are doing great things could possibly be rolled into one great, big, giant achiever who does all those things put together. That great, giant achiever should be me.

I wish, I wish, I wish. I wish I could do this, I wish I could do that, I wish I was funnier, prettier, cleverer, nicer, friendlier. For all it's wonderfulness, blogging is a poisoned apple sometimes. It allows us to delve into so many lives, not just a few. More, more, more. It awakens the 'I Wish' Beast and she's a beast that will not rest.

That Beast makes me dissatisfied with who I am and what I do. Even if I'm not especially into the things that I'm looking at, that Beast makes me think that I should be into them. The 'I Wish' Beast makes me wish that I could do lots of things that I don't do and even more things that I don't especially want to do.

It is a very complicated beast.

What I mostly wish is that I could grow-up and stop comparing myself to others like I'm fifteen years old and desperate for my life to start. I get angry with myself. For godsake, when will I be enough?

Do you do this?
Does it make you feel angry with yourself sometimes?

[Image by Marta Bevacqua]

88 comments:

Leah said...

Oh yes. Mainly I get swept away with organisation envy (although holiday house envy also happens). This post swept away my last wave of angst;http://www.modernparentsmessykids.com/2012/02/im-woman-with-plan-and-routine-and.html

ChinkyGirLMeL said...

I get that way sometimes too. I thought it was just me. I get that when I feel I have nothing to blog about and it seems like everyone's going to this place and that, or eating this or making that. I guess that can be taken in a good way or bad. Blogging can definitely become a source if inspiration if taken the right way. =)

cheryl @ nefotlak. said...

YES - I so know that beast.
and the worst thing - when you think you've banished him - and he sneaks back in!!
I think blogging can increase the thoughts - but no matter - I think us mums are super hard on ourselves regardless. we're all trying to be superwomen - when we just need to take a deep breath - and just be ourselves. thanks for the reminder - this post reminded me to breath!!
cheryl xox.

Belinda said...

I know exactly where you are coming from. I do this too. Today I posted a post about finally feeling like myself.
I've been queen of the 'I wish'. I am getting better of late. I am trying very hard to tell myself everyday that, 'I am enough' xxx

Rhi @ Hummingbird's Song said...

I really hear you on this one. I fell down the 'I wish' hole this week while reading blogs, and it took a friend to give me a kick up the arse and get me out of my funk. I think we're all just so hard on ourselves that we tend to lose perspective sometimes!

Andrea said...

I try hard not to, I pretend not to..... But it almost seems inevitable.

Cindi said...

I do that... but the best way to get past it is to say... I bet those people I'm wishing I was like... are wishing they were like me.

Because you are brave and fierce and left the corporate world and you are strong and a mother and a wife and your words are powerful.

I wish I was like you.

Happylan said...

I think it is absolutely normal to feel that way from time to time, the whole magazine industry relies on it right? (hoping people make the jump from I wish to I buy!) and some blogs are a lot like magazines - they are airbrushed (leaving out the imperfect bits).
When the I wish beast is awakened in my mind, I take stock, be grateful for the many blessings in my life (a certain linky helps there!) and think do I really wish? And if I do really still wish (and yes a holiday home, drool) I add it to my wish list and tell myself someday. I make that wish a happy positive instead of an anxious negative. Sometimes, the wishes come true. But even if they don't what I've got going now? It's pretty cool.

At Number 32 said...

Was having this convo with hubby just the other night.....I blame it on my new love of blog land!! You get to see how the other half live, see how healthy we could all be eating, do crafts that my children will only dream of, write with the gift that I wish I had, blah, blah, blah.
Think it's part normal though.....I figure it helps us strive to be better every day??

Permanently twenty three said...

Maybe you need a blog break?

It can all be a little bit 'wow, look at me! look at shots of my stylised home!' much of the time, and fuck me, that's tiresome. Even just to set up that shot in the goddamn first place.

Sometimes I think people are too busy living their lives online than in real life.

Veronica said...

it's probably easier said than done for some. but don't wish, just be. this is the best person you can be. i am using the 'be' word a lot i know. there will always be someone who is doing, saying, being something we wish we were or could...and more than likely they are thinking the same about us. there are lots of people bron who i believe wish they could write like you and have your candor (and i mean that in a good way). chin up and just keep doing what your doing. this blogging world can get you down if you take in too much around you. sometimes we need to step back and remind ourselves why we blog. xo.

Toni said...

YES! and it's stopped me from blogging. Which I love. How stupid is that?

Plus -- Bron -- I think you're amazing. Truly.

Lisa H said...

Oh yes... but it works both ways. There are plenty of people out there that make me stop and think, "I'm glad I'm NOT like that"... although maybe I am and I just don't see it. ;-)

LionessLady said...

Oh man - how do you do that?! Think and say exactly what so many other's are feeling?!!!! I think there is a part of us that will always compare but I also love your mum's advice too. And you do know you wake up my 'I wish' beast with your beautiful self and your wonderful blog???

Mama Mogantosh said...

Pinterest makes me feel like that Bron. At least with blogs the context is larger - yes, I knitted this cardigan from hemp I planted in my kitchen garden, but I didn't do much else this week.... But Pinterest feels like an avalanche of Things I Should Do, one after the other. Too much.

Bean's Mummy said...

Yes I know the bloody beast. And blogging often makes it worse for me too. I disappear for a bit and always come back. Then I usually feel worse because of everything I've "missed out on" while I've been gone. Ridiculous! We are so hard on ourselves...and social media and instant access to everything makes it so easy to compare/judge/wish wish wish. Sigh...breathe...try to live with the beast I guess? I'm trying. :)

Amelia {Weddings, Babies... Everything} said...

I hear you Bron!
As much as I love blogging, and reading blogs and I get so so SO inspired by other bloggers and their lives - the double edged sword is that I compare myself too much and think I "should be doing more of what they do" (craft with my daughter, gardening, go to work, decorating my home, cooking etc). And it annoys me that I feel like that because my life is pretty darn good and I think I do a good job of it.
I think it's probably human nature to feel that way.
But at the end of the day, I'm not living their lives, I'm living mine. xx

mel @ loved handmade said...

I do that, I think we all do! You're one of those girls we wish we could be more like, so don't you go and underestimate your fabulousness! Our own perception of ourselves is often vastly different from the way others see us. I remember on a staff 'retreat' team building workshop, we all had to write on each persons poster words to describe them, when I got mine back I couldn't believe I was that person..I was amazing & inspiring & all these wonderful things I didn't know I was. I try to remind myself of that when I feel a bit lost.

mel @ loved handmade said...

I do that, I think we all do! You're one of those girls we wish we could be more like, so don't you go and underestimate your fabulousness! Our own perception of ourselves is often vastly different from the way others see us. I remember on a staff 'retreat' team building workshop, we all had to write on each persons poster words to describe them, when I got mine back I couldn't believe I was that person..I was amazing & inspiring & all these wonderful things I didn't know I was. I try to remind myself of that when I feel a bit lost.

Emily said...

Absolutely. We all do, don't we? But then a post like this comes along to make us realise that the 'I Wish' Beast is countered by the 'Thank Goodness I'm Not the Only One' moments. x

Kat @ I Saw You Dancing said...

Oh honey. I do this all the time. Every day.
How easy is it for me to sit here and read your words and cry out, "But you ARE enough!"?
How hard is it for that message to sink in for me?
One of the most frustrating things ever. And a huge drain on energy, motivation, creativity.
I am beginning to suspect that the answer if taking a deep breath and going it anyway... whatever "it" is that makes your heart sing, and regardless of whether other people seem to be doing it better/more/easier/prettier (damn them).

Cherie @ 'a baby called Max' said...

WOW.

Yes.

So many will relate to this. It's hard to tame that beast, isn't it?!

Just remember, someone will wish they were you too :)

... 'she has chooks, & they lay her eggs'.

I'm not the minestrone makin', quinoa feeding kind. But I'm my own kind, whatever the hell that is. And that's ok with me!

Believe me when I say this, people will be comparing themselves to you, & saying, 'I wish'.

xx

trishie said...

Oh the "i wish" monster. Yes i know that one. I think it is fairly normal to experience it and compare one's life to others, so don't beat yourself up over it. I see it as inspiration to want to better myself - just as long as i don't get bitter or jealous or angry with myself, i think it is good to have others to look up to and want to be nicer, craftier, a better cook etc.

Megan.K. said...

"She's growing her own minestrone" - LOL.

Isn't (the comparing) totally ridiculous when you actually write it down like that? Thanks Bron.

xo

Megan said...

Oh my god yes. Sometimes it feels like I'm still in high school sitting in class looking at the popular girls and wishing for their smooth, straight hair or their easy way of socialising. I always wished I was good at something, anything because everyone else I knew had something they were good at.

I try to avoid the I wish beast as much as possible though because there are some Really BIG 'I wish'es in my life at the moment, unfortunately not to do with anything fun like sewing better (which I do wish I could do) or being more organised (which I am destined to always fail at, I'm sure) and all to do with health and stupid bodies that start to fall apart when I don't even feel old enough to consider myself an 'adult' let alone 'elderly'.

It totally makes me angry, I wish (hahah) that I could just accept myself for who I am and not feel like I should apologise for being that. Instead of saying 'oh sorry, I'm really no good at singing' say 'HAH I really suck at singing' and then sing louder. Acknowledgement and acceptance of self. And not worrying what other people think.

Hell, if I could have one wish it really would be to not be so concerned about what other people think of me. That would make life much easier!

Mum on the Run said...

I'd love to tell you that it's just a load of wasted energy - all that comparing and wishing.
But something about pots, kettles and the colour black springs to mind!!
:-) xx

Chantel said...

You are in my head today. Blogland is so much more intense than real life, as there are 100 new posts for me to read by 100 super awesome people who are so very talented at many many things. I have to constantly remind myself to not compare and just be me. X

MissPosy said...

I think it's plain life business - I don't get around to reading as many blogs as I'd like, and I've been fighting the battle to finally feel "enough" for as long as I can remember.

I don't feel angry or frustrated at myself, but I do have a heavy heart.

I remind myself every day that this thing I'm living is life, and hope that one day it will be enough.

Brenda @ Mira Narnie said...

I don't even know what quinoa looks like!!! Also I think we any of us were good at all those things it would be damn annoying. I love the fact that I'm a hopeless knitter and that I can really marvel is bloggers that excel at it.

The grass is sometimes greener on the other side, but don't forget that your patch of green is just as nice and just as special because it's yours.

I think blogging can become a bit competitive....I think I tried to touch on this a little while ago with rather dramatic results. When we stop the comparison and just be true to the inner self, then that is real self actualization!!

Love your work b xx

emmie gemmie said...

Yes I get this too!! My life often looks very unspecial compared to all other people's whos blogs I read! (Especially those ones that always post beautiful pro quality photos that turns the everyday into the sublime)
I try to remember that blogs/facebook etc are just heavily edited versions of reality.. we all talk up the more appealing details and present a better version of ourselves to the world.. it's only natural.. it's part of the fun.
But sometimes I feel better after stepping away from the seemingly magic lives of strangers and reimersing myself in the magic of mine.

Leonie said...

Oh YES!!! I totally agree!

Donna said...

Oh yes, I waste time on the "I wish" merry-go-round - but its only been successful in making me dizzy and ill!

I wish I were more like you if that makes you feel any better :) LOVE your blog and beautiful writing Ms Maxabella x

**Anne** said...

I'm one of those annoying people that is quite content with who they are. I know that everyone who appears to have the perfect life, be the perfect mother, the perfect craft maker, homemaker, career woman etc, has issues with something. My best friend would appear to have it all. She's gorgeous, has a beautiful home that is always clean and tidy, a gorgeous garden, a job she loves. She's a fabulous cook, goes on wonderful overseas holidays and has delightful adult children. But she has terrible hassles with her inlaws, something I would never want to deal with. She appears to have the perfect life but she doesn't. I could quite easily feel inadequate next to her but I don't because we are different people. I am very glad I am me, imperfections and all. It's taken me awhile to get to thinking like this, but it's a good place to be and you will get there eventually. It's one of the nice things about getting older.
Anne xx

therhythmmethod said...

We all do it. Whenever I catch myself thinking about other people's quinoa diets, I flick the computer off and go for a walk in my lovely neighbourhood. Computers have this uncanny ability to make life look perfect, and really simple: but we know this is not true. Everyone has to do the dishes. Everyone eats jar dinners sometimes, we can't all sew ...
The trick is to focus on your own little window into your own little world. Otherwise it's just too much to bear. x

Kelly Exeter said...

Oh Bron I cannot believe you of all people feel like this!

I seldom get a case of the I wishes because I know that no matter how perfect seeming any one person's life is, they have their own battles they are fighting. Whenever I start covering something someone else has, I remind myself that if I want what they have, I have to want their life too.

And I can't think of anyone's life that I want more than mine!

Cat said...

Yes indeed....and I can't thank you enough for being honest about it. I like my life, I'm happy with it but I wish parts of it, parts of me were different. That I could be and do more. When it gets to me too much it helps to make sure that I'm doing what I want to be doing. I use it as a catalyst for changing what I want to change and resolving to focus on what I am doing. x

Kelly Exeter said...

*coveting

Sigh, damn autocorrect

Bronwyn @ At Home Mum said...

I think it is fairly normal to experience it and compare one's life to others, so don't beat yourself up over it. The 'I wish' beast and 'my should have life' are too of my demons .. I think it is very easy as a special needs mum to look out and see lives of 'typical families' as being so simple and easy. And I know it is not good to compare and you don't know anyone's full picture .. and it just leads you nowhere but unhappiness ... but sometimes I know they are just too hard to resist.

Katrina (capturing moments) said...

I'm bad if I don't have a veggie garden, eat Organic, have my babies in cloth nappies and have natural water births. That's how I feel. Pressure pressure pressure. My words aren't good enough, my photos aren't good enough, I only have 'x' many followers and she has more. She is smarter, prettier, sexier, thinner, richer, wiser, healthier and the list goes on.
We are women, I think this is how we will always feel.
Sucks doesn't it?
x

Mrs Clark said...

You. Are. Not. Alone.
That is all.
Hugs xxx

Red Dalish said...

Oh yeah! You know I struggle, but it was you who gave me some good advice.'Don't let comparisons steal your joy'.

I stepped back from some of the blogs inciting my 'I wish' malarky.

Not sure how to deal with it in 'real life' though!

A Farmer's Wife said...

Firstly I love your blog and think you would be a great person to have a Friday afternoon drink with!

I have a couple of comments on your post. The first is that I think blogs are a very selective reality. Many bloggers (self included) only post the "pretty stuff". Chances are you are comparing yourself to something that doesn't fully exist anyway.

Secondly - one of the best quotes I ever read was that "Fitting in is for school girls." Be yourself - I think you sound fantastic and should stop comparing yourself to others. There is always someone skinnier, prettier, richer and smarter... Why let that interfere with your life which sound damn good to me.

Take care.

MultipleMum said...

I like looking at other people's lives, content in the fact that mine isn't too bad either. I have made peace with my lack of craftiness and really I just love looking at all the creative people doing their creative things. If it gets too much, I just check out for a while. x

bigwords is... said...

All the time, but that's my silly nature regardless of if I'm blogging or not. I try not to listen to it and I come here because you are always so darn brave in speaking your mind and living your life your way and I love you for it xx

Lizeylou said...

I hear you - I am a clothes person,
She always has the best clothes, or the best legs in those jeans, or the best hair etc ....
Maybe this is the year to just be happy with the lot we have and not worry about what anyone is doing?

Lisa said...

Oh yes, I mean you have multiple comments on your blog!

There's always someone 'better' than you, always. Even that person who you think is 'better' than you has someone who's 'better' than them. Crazy, stupid world we live in.

Jo McComiskey said...

God almighty...I would comment but there is eleventy, clever bloggers ahead of me and my confidence has disappeared like Ameila Earhart(I always thought it was Airheart??)nose diving into the great pacific abyss..arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh farewell blogsville...thanks for the neurosis.
Jo

Mrs Bok - The Bok Flock said...

Me too maxabella...I vacillate between 'I wish' to 'can't be bothered' to just busy and forgetful of it for a while. Most often I wish for the freedom to travel more and to be a better mum...but I will never live up to my own expectations so there's no point in wishing. Still can't help it. Right now I wish for this stupid tonsillitis to go away and for mr bok to be well again so I can crunch my crisps and order him about!
I've never met you in person but you are already one of my favourite folk. You're awesome maxabella and so good to share what most of us feel but don't have the opportunity to talk about. Plus now you have hens. Awesome factor went off the charts :)

Veggie Mama said...

Hey LOOK! There's your face up there! And I love it!


Soon I am posting a day in my life. I feed my kid shit out of a jar and forget to get dressed, let alone make my own skirt. I'm very average, and I get to thinking all the "special" ones are too.. But Pinterest... Pinterest gives me such a case of the I Wishes and the Overwhelmings that I had to stop looking at it. We're all human, it's normal to feel like this now and then xx

Cate Bolt said...

I could have written this. But then I looked at the comments and thought "I wish I got that many comments on my blog"...

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about being different and why I don't do all those things that other women do. Why I don't blog about them. And how I was happy with who I am.

This week I wish I was. Not really *wish* I was, but ... wish I was. Just so maybe people could relate to me. Then they might listen when I say something important.

Maybe.

Bungalowgirl said...

My strategy for dealing with this is the same one I have had since I was 16. If I am jealous of something someone has I have to then want their WHOLE entire life. Can honestly say, have not met a single person so far where I have wanted their whole life ( even Miranda Kerr- all that catwalk pressure- yurch). Must say my only gripe is salivating over all these yummy food/recipe posts that my family cannot eat due to food allergies- how I wish I could just open a jar for dinner sometimes! melx

Polly said...

I think its human nature isn't it, so much that I wish for and am envious about, but at least I can honestly say my life is good regardless.

one claire day said...

I've definitely seen much more of a jealous streak within myself since I started blogging. It's not very nice at all. Ridiculous, actually...

...but if you can block out those negative feelings, it is somewhere where you can truly be inspired. I've improved my writing and photography skills, booked myself into a sewing school and have been inspired by peeps like yourself to get some chooks... and surely these aren't bad things? xx

one claire day said...

P.S - did she say if minestrone needed full sun... or part shade? I'm doing something wrong... xx

Sonia @ Life Love and Hiccups said...

Hell yeah I do it all the time. And if I am not wishing over a blog I am reading, I am looking at magazines and wishing there. House mags are the worst, I look at pictures of woman in their beautiful houses and I suddenly create thi whole life that they live in my head (totally random and probably not even remotely close to the life they really live) and then i envy that imaginary life.
Hmmmm I envy people who don't overs are their weird thoughts and habits like I have a habit of doing. Xxxx

Catherine said...

It is hard not to do this, I know that I focus too much on things since blogging and then I try and snap out of it and think I am me, boring maybe but hey I don't mind. We can't be everything as much as we would like to but we can be us and be the best at that, that we can be. You are one of a kind Bron and cool just for being you, don't even think about changing:) x

Misha - TheBlingBuoy said...

The "I wish" beast has two faces ... one that makes me angry and dissolve into feelings of inadequacy at first. But then it makes me evaluate what really, truly matters... and if I decide that it's something that really DOES matter - for me - then I make a change. If not, I have no choice but to let it go or it will continue to seep poison without purpose. Your blog is an inspiration for so many... don't let the "I wish" beast change that one little bit. Because from a reader's point of view, nothing else matters except your authenticity and genuine intention to make the world a bit more wonderful. Which it does... beautifully. :)

Reannon Hope said...

All the frickin time!!! I don't know why I do it because I'm like you, I got a great life, but there are times that I wished-
I could be a stay at home mum like.....
Be slim like.....
More time to craft/create like...

The list goes on & on but then I kick myself up the ass & tell myself to get over it & usually I do. I think it's normal to feel like this but as long as you appreciate what you DO have & spend most if your time focusing on that I think your good xx

Tales of a Tai Tai said...

Oh all the bloody time. Type A personality - grass is always greener...

Lou Lou said...

Well I've had an 'I wish' moment about your blog, so there you go!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone goes through it I am sure.

Kim H said...

Yes! And it's crap, for sure. But then i think about my own blog and how sometimes things could be viewed as a perfect day or week or whatever when actually, in reality, I've had a lot more negatives or difficulties or whatever thrown in too. I just haven't necessarily blogged about those. Don't you think blogging can be the air brushing or writing and life portrayal? Thankfully I'm a huge whinger so I really think I've got a good balance on my blog. I'm 100% certain that no one covets my existance and I'm hoping that there is some cellulitey, pimpleyness underneath a lot of those blogs I read and feel a little inferior to.

I laughed at the quinoa line. LOL
Hey, BTW, your blog is one of those ones I've felt that covety thing for you know.

Diminishing Lucy said...

Bron, you have evidently struck a chord, as I had to scroll down about 65 million comments to get here.

That beast? Her name is insecurity in my book. She is only a beast if you let her? She visits me occasionally. A lot less these days.

Tell her to bugger off? Don't allow her to call.

annie said...

I don't normally care too much about this stuff. I used to then I just gave up and realised it's one of those things. There are probably people out there who envy me what I have although I might not see why. It's human nature. Today I envy any one whose life is normal and banal, who has nothing scary and traumatic happening and who can look at their kids and know they will see them grow up to adulthood. The other shit just doesn't matter. It really doesn't.

Seana Smith said...

Resist! Resist!! I do find this fades with age. Ah, there are so many advantages to getting older!

I have a wee rule, when I compare up, I always compare down too. Think of how lucky I am, how well I do (occasionally) as a mum, how well we live here. And think too of how everything is possible, but not all at once.

1000 Homes of Happiness said...

I (try) not to buy into the 'i Wish' anymore. Too exhausting trying to keep up and if I do find I'm getting caught up in it I check out for a while.

xoxox

Claire Chadwick @ Scissors Paper Rock said...

You don't make your own skirts or feed your kids quinoa?? Well you're no friend of mine then! HAAAAA!!!!
You rock Bron!
We all have things we're good at, or things we like to highlight {or show off} on our blogs. But we all also have faults & desires & downfalls. For everytime you've looked at a blog & thought "shit, that girls got it all" & compared yourself....a zillion people have looked at your blog & thought "oh my..this girl rocks!"
You are amazing....and more than enough! Believe that!!
xx

Cheryl Roth said...

I think everyone needs to have 10 lives so we can manage to do everything we wish we could. Or maybe that would be even worse! "Notes From the Universe" remind me to be content with myself - check it out, they're free: http://www.tut.com/theclub/

Coal Valley View said...

Honestly, what Annie said above says it all really.

We are all just getting on with life, muddling through as best we can with what we have. One thing I didn't mention in my e-mail to you and that I haven't seen mentioned yet is the fact that everyone has an agenda for their Blog. Some just love to write and document their lives a bit, some use it as a platform for their career, home business, online shops etc, some Bloggers (even if they are mummy bloggers too) are also actual professional photographers, stylists, chefs, interior decorators, makers of things for a living or use their Blogs as a creative and more personal way to showcase their profession or serious hobby. Some Blogs ARE people's job. There are so many reasons for blogging which are all great reasons but it's important sometimes to know why people are blogging before getting carried away with how amazing a particular blog 'seems' to be. And at the end of the day, regardless of why we blog, we are all Blogging so being a Blogger should be a uniting factor rather than a source of competition. Not everyone in the world gets us!!

lipglossmumma said...

I know that beast well, and I agree blogging makes it worse. I try hard in life not to be judgemental which I am quite good at, but comparing in a way that makes me think 'I should' or 'I wish' I am guilty, guilty, guilty.

I don't have an answer for it. I just 'wish' one day I will be good enough for me.

Kirsten said...

Really enjoyed this post. Especially the part: 'that one feeds her kids quinoa'. I remember seeing a mum at a playground with the most beautifully presented tupperware container filled with perfect segments of perfect fruit, and my son was so mesmerised he went over and ate all the blueberries, and she was fine with that. And I thought 'that is not me, and never will be'. Damn!

Heather said...

I do it all the time and for me, reading blogs makes it worse. I read about what all these amazing woman are doing (including you!) and it makes me feel like crap sometimes as I am not doing anywhere near the amazing things that everyone else I am reading about is!! I need to get over it I know - it is no-ones fault except my own. My solution for me is I only read a select few blogs now and I switch off technology to give myself a break. xxx

Jenny said...

Totally do it. Even wrote about it a few weeks ago, as I delved further into a few blogging "communities".

And it's silly, but I can't help it.

Mrs Average said...

Oh yes, this beast is within us all. Just remember, what you see is not always what is there when the doors are closed and thier blinds are down.

They might have a bigger house - they are probably in loads of debt.

They make their own skirts - bet they cant make wicker baskets/bake/take photos.... whatever you do well.

I envy the fact that you gave up your job and had the bravery to do it. I wish I could write inspiring posts like you (I have to really get in the mood). So see it from the other side, you probably awaken the beast in others!!
See

Mrs Average said...

Not sure where that last "see" came from on my comment. I wish I didnt have two left hands when it came to typing!

Miss Mandy said...

we ALL go through it. Anyone that says they don't are lying.
I always tell myself when I'm comparing myself and unhappy that despite what I know, there is a whole lot I don't know. And that is huge, So much happens behind closed doors that we don't know about.

Posie Patchwork said...

Oh you'll find your groove. I have no clue what anyone else is doing, totally live to the beat of my own drum. Look hard, most people are terribly insular & not checking up on anyone else, i'm wide eyed but certainly not green eyed, simply don't care where i compare to anyone else, truly, never did at school, certainly don't now. Everyone is so different, living different lives. If anything i'm going the opposite way to everyone else, i'm truly happy & have a whole lot of determination to get there. Love Posie
PS Miss Mandy, i'm not lying!!

Kymmie said...

I wish I had a blog community as good as this one. I wish that I had a cute bird on my blog. I wish I could write like you do...

I wish I could sew. I wish I could earn bucket loads of money by sitting on my butt. I wish, I wish, I wish.

The whole world feeds off this very feeling: looking and comparing. Can you imagine where Pinterest would be if we were totally content with our little lives? There would be hardly any shops because we wouldn't feel the need to please or compare, Facebook would be unheard of, and I don't think there would be a need for blogging either.

Can you imagine the world where we were totally happy with everything we had?

It would be good, wouldn't it? And we'd be truly happy sitting on our side of the fence.

I wonder what it feels like?

Thanks for an especially awesome post. xx

alison@thisbloominglife said...

And if you feel like this, I'm totally stuffed! I fight this all the time and am currently rationing my blog reading in an endeavour to get over it all. Can't add any more than Cherie did - hear hear!

run poppy run said...

fat mum slim said it well the other day... blogging is a hungry beast and it seems it can eat up not only time but self-assurance as well.

Anonymous said...

Everything about me has changed since I was 15, except that part of me that just feels I'm not the person everyone else is looking to be friends with. I can't imagine I will ever shake that.

Lou said...

Oh Bron, I completely know what you are on about. I read on someone's blog the other day this quite, that I'm thinking of tattooing on my arm (or at least writing it on the wall)
"Comparison is the thief of joy" - Theodore Roosevelt
Because it so IS. And we need our joy, yeah?

Lou said...

And when I write 'quite' you know I mean QUOTE, yes?

themonsterandme said...

I hate getting in the "I wish" mindset as well, it's draining and leaves me feeling dissatisfied with a life I was previously content with.

I find the best cure for me is to recognise the beast before she raises her ugly face. Because life is too precious to waste wishing it was something different. xx

Michelle said...

I hear you for sure! I have thought about it a lot too... I am also afraid of Pinterest and only got as far as joining. But... Something brings me back to blogland... To be really honest, I feel like I fit in every time I get a comment. That is not something I am used to. I have been out of the 'workforce' for 4 years and I miss getting a pat on the back or even critisism for that matter. Sometimes I want to run outside and say "Hey... You... Come and see this thing I just made! What do you think of it? I'm really amazed I could do it! Do you think it needs this? Or that?". Also I just know that those I envy are really just like everybody else in a round about way and I am glad that 'she' does do what she does so well, because it inspires me to try new things and and I have learn't so much... I definately think finding the ballance is the key... Oh and I just love looking at all you gorgeous people! Slippers , canned meals, tiaras, holiday homes, lentils, pulitsers, spelling mistakes, warts and all xx

Little Pinwheel said...

I do this all the time, and I am very down on myself. i always wish I was mother of the year, and the mother that was awesome at cooking, and being fun all the time. Oh, I could write a huge list on comparisons I make everyday.

It makes me truly angry at myself, as it makes me feel less the person I am, and less the mother I am.


you rock! xx

Sarah said...

I TOTALLY hear you in this post. Sorry I am late - been away...

I go through phases of this as well. Then I seem to snap out of it - not sure how.

I think many people only want their blog to be about the nice times. Though a few I follow are starting to be more honest which I like. Make me feel more human.

I also remind myself that I am doing my best and that is all I can do. My best is not the best but that is all I can do...

Keep up with what you do - you are doing great.

Cath said...

Must be something going round...

Jane@flightplatformliving said...

Pinterest and blogging combined genetically alters dna to 'i wish syndrome'! it's true! i am planting a veg garden and using upturned bottles as an edging and making bloody bunting because of it!!!!! x

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